Problem Teens

Greetings!

Last week I described what it is to assume responsibility for our
children. This week I want to look at the kind of parents we are
when we are responsible to our children.


Being responsible to our children means we understand that they are
not our possessions. They do not belong to us. They belong to
themselves and we are simply their teacher and guides.


Rather than venting our frustrations and unhappiness on them, we
treat them with respect.


Rather than seeing them as our second chance at a better childhood,
or better parent who can finally "do it right this time," we see
our time with them as teaching moments, opportunities to share the
wisdom gained from life experience for the purpose of supporting
their growth and understanding.


Rather than feel exhausted by our children, we make them an
enjoyable priority. We understand there is no greater
responsibility, or joy, than the moments we spend giving to them.


We learn as much from our children as we teach. We pass on basic
life principles that provide a firm foundation for a rewarding life
and we model those principles in our own lives because our children
learn best by example.


We are relaxed and caring with them, firm and honest, reliable and
fun. Showing such responsibility to our children develops a bond of
loving trust between us; such fertile ground fosters spiritual
connection and capable lives result.


When we are responsible to our children, we do the following:

We see them as individuals on their own life path, rather than as
extensions of ourselves.

We share our own life experience and speak to them honestly and
from the heart.

We share guiding principles that support a positive belief in a
Universal Source that supports.

We encourage them towards age-appropriate independence.

We let go of controlling their outcomes and trust a Higher Power to
work in their lives.

We encourage free AND respectful interaction.

We are interested in their thoughts, opinions and feelings, but not
ruled by them.

We allow them to experience the natural consequences of their
choices.

We encourage them to take healthy risks and try new experiences
that facilitate growth.

We set and reinforce healthy boundaries that are age appropriate
and arrange consequences when those boundaries are violated.

We give them age appropriate choices, rather than control them with
"because I said so."

We assign age appropriate duties that will develop their sense of
importance and usefulness in the family.

We never do for them what they can do for themselves (even if they
can't yet do it as quickly or as well as we might like).

We never threaten consequences we are not willing to deliver.

We do what we say we are going to do.

We model self-responsibility.

We support them to make corrections, rather than punish their
honest mistakes.

We explain why we make the decisions concerning them that we do.

We win their cooperation, rather than make demands that result in
power struggle.

We share the spiritual principles that sets them on a path of
liberation and faith.


May your parenting be blessed, whether you are parenting your
child(ren) or yourself!

Blessings, L

Lynne Forrest is the author of The Three Faces of Victim