MOTIVATING UNDERACHIEVERS PART I: 
WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS "I DON'T CARE"
by James Lehman, MSW



Are you facing the new school year with dread because you have an unmotivated or underachieving teen or pre-teen? Is your child’s answer to everything, “I don’t care” or “It doesn’t matter?” In Part I of this two-part series, James Lehman, MSW explains why your child does have motivation—and how you can coach them to better behavior.



Once you realize that your adolescent is motivated to do nothing, it will become obvious to you right away that he actually puts a lot of energy into doing that “nothing.”

The first thing to understand about teens and pre-teens who seem to have no motivation is this simple truth: It'simpossible to have no motivation. Everybody is motivated—it just depends on what they’re motivated to do. I think it's helpful to see that rather than being unmotivated, these kids are actually motivated to not perform and to resist their parents. In other words, they’re motivated to do nothing.

Parents often think that if they can find a new way to encourage their child, he or she will magically start achieving more. I don't think it's like that at all. In fact, I think the problem is that these kids are motivated to resist, withdraw and under-perform. In effect, instead of acting out, they’re acting in.  Read full article

MOTIVATING UNDERACHIEVERS II: 
GET YOUR UNMOTIVATED CHILD ON TRACK BEFORE SCHOOL STARTS
by James Lehman, MSW



In Part II of  Motivating Underachievers, James explains what you can do to get your child on track before school starts—and how you can motivate them to do their school work during the year.



"I believe that when kids are so-called lazy, that's really an attitudinal issue about 'Why bother, my life's not going to get any better anyway.'"

For a teen-ager, there are many ways to say “screw you” to your parents. And for underachieving kids, being motivated to do nothing is one of those ways. I believe that when kids are so-called lazy, that's really an attitudinal issue about “Why bother, my life's not going to get any better anyway.” And when kids develop that kind of attitude, many times there's a lot of stuff going on in their lives which overwhelms them. Resisting their parents’ expectations is one way that they can feel like they’re in control. For these children and teens, the path to power becomes a game of withholding and resisting, and they often sink under the waves at school. The sad part is that this game only works until they’re young adults—and then no one else will be willing to play it with them.

What to Say to Kids Who Had a Bad Year Last Year
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